The Rabbit Hole

Every once in awhile, Alice went looking for trouble.  She was young (though not as young as she once was) and quite capable of finding it without going too far from home.  One afternoon, while her family was away running errands or playing tennis or whatever it was they did when they left the house for significant lengths of time, Alice decided to go for a walk.  She put on her sensible shoes, pulled her stockings up high around her plentiful thighs, and left the door swinging behind her.

The trees swayed in the wind, and the air had a strange magnetic quality, as if a storm were about to come.  Devoid of birds, the sky was eerily still.  Alice felt invigorated and quite quickly became lost, not only in her thoughts, but in reality, as well.

She walked for what seemed hours, as the scenery faded into twilight and then the darkness of night.

The moon loomed above Alice, beckoning her to stop.  Why, she wondered, did things always "beckon" her?  Was she so easily swayed?  So easily won?  So easily taken?  Certainly, she was easily confused, which the moon seemed to know, as it grew and shrank before her very eyes, dancing through its phases like a time lapse sequence.

Time, obviously, was dripping, quicksilver, through Alice's outstretched fingers.

When she finally tore her eyes from the inky depths of space above, her breath took a sharp intake.  What was that?  That there, moving in the bushes nearby?

Stupidly, alone, she went to investigate.

"Hello?"  She called into the dark, her hand cupped around her mouth to direct and extend the sound of her quiet question.

"Do you hear me?"

She didn't have the sense to tremble.

"Yes."

She jumped a bit at the response.  Calm and most assuredly male, the voice split open the night like a knife through warm butter.

"Yes, I hear you.  Do you hear me?  Come a little closer...so I can see your face."

Her small footsteps landed tentatively on the concrete.

"Closer..."

She leaned into the voice, squinting her eyes.

She didn't have the sense to ask him who he was.

She followed the sound of his words as they became a whisper.

"Come closer...yes...that's it..."

Like the pied piper, his voice froze her concern and took control of her.

Breathing deeply, she licked her dry lips and put her hands out to feel her way.  Her fingers found the mark before her eyes did -- a large hand, strong, calloused, and bold, reached out to take hers.  Without force, it led, and Alice followed.  Briefly, in the moonlight, she saw the whiteness of his skin, the opalescence of his fingernails, and the lines in each large knuckle.

Looking back over her shoulder, as if to say goodbye, she pushed back the leaves of the bush like a curtain, entered, and let them close in behind her.  With a soft rustling sound like an ocean wave, she was gone....

(Like so many in this world, we are all lured down the rabbit hole from time to time.  We wander in and out of calm and storm.  I look back often, but sometimes the curtain has closed behind me and the past can only be seen as dim recollection.  I am not good at commitment.  I procrastinate.  I obsess when things are new and lose interest with the quickness of a child.  This it the best I can do for an explanation of my absence.  Like Alice, I will follow what entices me...without question, when the mood strikes me.  My writing is the rabbit.  The elusive rabbit.  It runs...and like a greyhound, I chase it and chase it and chase it.  I also write for many different reasons...I suppose that means I have many rabbits to chase.  Sometimes, I get tired.  I stop and rest.  And then I buy a new set of running shoes, grit my teeth and begin the chase again...in one direction or another, constantly searching.)

Why does porn suck?

(conversations and thoughts surrounding chapters 4 and 5 The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn)

Hmmmm...answers to this question are varied and numerous.

The actors, the lighting, the sound, the film quality, the shoddy sets, the camera angles, the music, the formulaic story lines, the absence of plot, a stupid plot, ugly men, skinny women, fake boobs, bored expressions...you name it.

And...for all this suck....there's a very high price.

I personally don't rent or buy porn very often.  I'm too likely to be disappointed, not only with the film, but also with the lightness of my wallet after buying/renting it.

Violet Blue suggests that we look for films that have won awards (seriously, I had no idea that the porn industry had awards, so I'm learning something here) from Adult Video Network, Hot d'Or (celebrating European porn), Adam Film World, or X-Rated Critics Organizations (XRCO Choice).  Some sites offer reviews, like Adult DVD Talk,

I have yet to rent or buy a DVD I was actually happy with.

My husband has one VHS tape that I don't hate.  In fact, it's the one I turn to most out of our small collection.  It's one of those videos that tries to please everyone, with short episodes in different settings with different actors.  They don't last long (just long enough to get the job done).  They're like porn quickies.  The guys aren't hideous.  The girls vary in size, age, look, and seem to be enjoying themselves for the most part.  I don't hate it, but I don't love it.

I know that better porn exists, but its high cost prohibits much experimentation.  We have two places in town where you can rent porn.  One is a creepy trailer that has "Adult Books" spray painted on a piece of wood outside the front door.  The other is a decent little place that tries to accommodate a wide audience (toys, jewelry, lingerie, books, posters, shoes, gag gifts, games...  And while they have quite a few videos to choose from, I find their selection to be less than stellar.  Granted, I don't go there often, and I haven't spent a ton of time perusing their stacks.  But, the few times my husband and I have rented there, we have been disappointed with our choices.

So, what to do?  I don't have time to find the "better" porn.  I don't have the money to engage in an endless search for the perfect films.  I can't afford to and don't want to make my own.

Well...you can check out Adult DVD Talk.

Try an online DVD rental company like Bush DVD, XRentDVD, or Wanted List, or Sugar DVD.  These sites work something like Netflix...with a set price, a particular number of videos sent to you at one time, discretion in packaging, and comfort in browsing.  It's probably the cheapest way to try out different genres, directors, and actors.  (A few other websites mentioned in the book:  Adult DVD Empire, Amazon...really, Blue Door, Flick Smart, and For the Girls, Babeland, Blowefish, Come As You Are, Good Vibes, and Libida.)

I personally haven't joined one of these sites, but I know people who have and say that it works for them.

I can only imagine that it must be less intimidating than walking into an adult video store.

Of course, just widening your rental possibilities doesn't ensure that the porn you rent/buy won't suck.  In fact, it probably just means you'll have access to and will be watching more sucky porn for your money.  However, the more you watch, the more likely you'll find something that sucks less than the other stuff.

Right now, that's all I expect of porn.  Something that sucks less.

If any one is aware of porn that doesn't suck, please do tell.  I'm all ears.  Or hands...if that's sexier.  ;-)