Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Magical realism...

Is magic when everything works right?

The house is clean, the kid is behaving, the work is done, and only fun is to be had.

Or is it when the planets align?

I want Him. He wants me. We have time. Alone. Together.

Could it be when I'm feeling sane?

I'm not anxious. I'm not stressed. I'm not pissed off. I'm happy. I'm smiling. I'm relaxed.

If it is, magic doesn't happen around here that often, but when it does, it's awesome.

I suppose that's why it's magic, right? I mean, that's the way most people use the term..."It just magic."

That kind of magic isn't supposed to happen every day. If it did, it wouldn't be nearly as amazing, and we wouldn't be as in awe of it as we are when it does. It surprises us into noticing things that either don't normally happen or becoming momentarily aware of things that do happen all the time but fly under our radar because we're too busy rushing around in our daily lives.

But there's another side of magic...

  1. 1.
    the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
    "do you believe in magic?"
    synonyms:sorcerywitchcraftwizardrynecromancyenchantment, the supernatural, occultism, the occult, black magic, the black arts,voodoohoodoomojo, shamanism;

It's not all love potions and card tricks. There are curses and spells. There is darkness. And there are ways to live with intention in order to navigate the ups and downs, the negative energy.

I'm not positive that it works. But if living with intention, burning candles, praying, lighting incense, and generally working to connect with the world around us and our space within it to ensure the best outcome for ourselves and those we love is magic...then I suppose I live a rather magical life.

This week's Wicked Wednesday prompt was:

I thought long and hard about it. And though I suppose I could've written a story or a poem...or written something deep and transcendental, I decided to stick with "reality." Because, despite how boring realism sounds in relation to magic, it doesn't have to be...and probably shouldn't be, if you're doing it right.

  1. 1.
    the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
    "the summit was marked by a new mood of realism"
    synonyms:pragmatismpracticalitycommon sense, levelheadedness
    "optimism tinged with realism"
  2. 2.
    the quality or fact of representing a person, thing, or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life.
    "the earthy realism of Raimu's characters"
    "a degree of realism"

I don't always want to accept my situation...and I'm quite often not prepared to deal with it accordingly, but shying away from what "is" to live in a fantasy world won't bring about more magic in life. It'll bring disappointment.

So what does this have to do with my life? Since this blog really is my pool of narcissism, in which I gaze at my own reflection and pontificate.

In every life, there is magic...both ordinary and unexplainable. There are those moments that take my breath away. The moments I will never forget. The day I married my Husband. The day my son was born. The times when both have surprised me with expressions of love that have made my world seem absolutely complete.

None of these things were supernatural. All were real. Simple. So, quite honestly...I have to say that reality can be magic when we accept the fact that we are blessed to have what we have.

Is it magical that I am sitting here, enjoying a glass of wine, wearing a black nightgown, waiting for my amazing Husband to walk through the door so I can hand him a glass, kiss him, and know that my life is complete?

Not really.

It's life. A sort of magical realism, I suppose. Something like One Hundred Years of Solitude. Regardless, I'll take my reality with a healthy does of magic...and my magic with a healthy dose of the blessings I already have.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Dear Daddy,

So we've had a pretty low month. Some trouble with my social anxiety on vacation and instability with my moods (didn't follow my normal lunar cycle this month). Leaving town for a week got me completely off my schedule for writing and working out, too; and getting back on the wagon isn't coming easily. It doesn't help that we're gearing up for a time of year that is typically rather stressful for both of us, and our fears are likely coloring how we are handling it (self-fulfilling prophecy?).

Our sex life has gotten a bit off track as a result. But our friendship hasn't. That seems to be the one thing that holds us together no matter what.

I'm not always in the mood for sex, that's true. And I know this causes you a ton of stress, considering that sex is the way you hold on to our intimate connection, especially during times of stress, when my typical reaction is to withdraw. We have a history that shows you this is the beginning of a "drought." But nothing's on fire yet, and even if the rain is far from coming, I still have access to water, and I'm going to pour as much of it on this garden that is our marriage as I possibly can. Yes, in the past, we've both let it go too long...we've let parts of it die...but we've replanted, and can always continue to do so.

I'm also not always in the mood to write. And I know that you see a connection between my writing and our relationship. When I'm writing, things are usually strong between us. I'm not sure if it's the writing that causes it, or if writing is just a symptom of a bigger issue. More than likely, I write when I'm feeling like I have time to think. I write when I'm relaxed. I write when I'm happy. When I'm not...or when I'm stressed, I tend to stop writing because my mind stops processing correctly, and it takes all of my faculties just to get out of bed and get through my day. Sometimes, I really just don't want to do much of anything. But, I'm not letting myself fall into the hole right now. I'm staying positive.

You were pretty down today. And I'm aware that I'm the reason for it. I know I'm not easy to live with...or even easy to love sometimes. But I appreciate that you continue to stand beside me and refuse to give up when many others would.

For all the trouble we have, we're actually quite a model of marriage. When others would give up, we continue. Sometimes with teeth gritted, mumbling obscenities under our breath.

So how best to proceed? How best to find our path again? Well...I'm going to suggest this tonight:

We can figure the rest out tomorrow...or the next day...or...

P.S. I've made the revisions we talked about to the contract. I crossed out those items we have determined no longer work, and added in red the specifics we've decided are necessary. Remind me if I forgot anything or got anything wrong.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Into the woods...

Well, all...I'm out for the the blogging...I'm heading into the woods with the family. So until next week, this will have to tide you over:

Saturday, August 1, 2015


So all the images for this week's Sinful Sunday are "old"...not only in their treatment, but also in time. I think I took these a few years ago, all in the same night, the same little nightie. But, I've added some vintage touches with the photo editing. 

Click on the image to see
other Sinful Sunday images.