Saturday, June 18, 2016

e[lust] volume #83

Elust 82 Header Holden and Camille Photo courtesy of Holden and Camille

Welcome to Elust #83 -

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #84 Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!  

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

London Crows and London Kisses I am Her. She is Me. You Say You Want to Cook for Me  

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Unusual Liaison Community. Respect. Friendship. Fucking.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Dirty Little Secrets *You really should consider adding your popular posts here too* All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!  

Poetry

You Know O

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

My Bed Secular Submission My therapy from “hard limit” to “want” We Measure the Nostalgia The Cure and The Cause

Events

Smut in the 6ix - Porn Conference & Gala

Erotic Fiction

Typing Errors La Belle Dame Sex and chocolate The Imprisoned of HIM-HER-THEM The Gift audience Becca’s Story Rope and Fixtures As salty as his cum... Dominating the Doctor

Erotic Non-Fiction

Teen Sex in Woolly Tights with 60s Beat Music Dear Sadist: Your Cruelty Is Your Love A male dom, the straight girl and the bi girl Owned, Leashed, & Beaten Jan 2015 Owned & Collared by Mistress Claire Rinse The Days Filth Away Power On Keeping tally

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Formative Kink Epic Fail: "Buck Rogers"

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

If it was easy anyone could do it What's a service submissive? Prescient Words

Writing About Writing

What if aspirational meant something else?   ELust Site Badge

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Bootlaces

He looked down at his boots and lifted his foot ever so slightly off of the floor. And then he looked at me. And back to his boot.

It was a simple and silent message. One of those requests that carries traces of both demand and offering. Would I balk? Or would I kneel, without question, and simply do the task that was being asked of me?

This is how D/s "becomes". These little opportunities for rituals to blossom. The important thing is how we approach them and whether we choose to incorporate them into our continuing narrative - our shared story - or not.

Of course I kneeled, though not without raising my eyebrows in question. I'm not that obedient. And while sometimes I feel like I should be, I don't think he'd like me that way.

This was a ritual I could grab onto, however. I grew up taking off my father's Army boots. It was a daily task, just something I did...every day. And it became the basis of many fond memories.

Those boots...


...have become these boots...

And while He isn't my father...He IS my guide...the man I look up to...my hero...my best friend...my partner...my lover...my Daddy...my everything.

Funny how a few boot laces can symbolize the ties that bind so tightly.

Such a simple task. But these are the things that relationships are built on.

I laughed a bit, but I untied the laces, loosened them, and tugged His boot off. And then I did the same for the other foot. I looked up at Him. I looked up to Him. And I smiled, happy to take on this task as a new part of our daily ritual. 

I appreciate these opportunities. They make me feel connected to our D/s world even when it seems far away or impossible to maintain...when life is hectic or when I'm stressed to the max or exhausted, these rituals still exist. I can, daily, make the choice to do these things for Him. Because they are as much for me as they are for Him. 

Thursday, May 26, 2016

False Advertising?

Photographs can be deceiving. When I choose what I'm going to put out there for the world to see, of course I'm going to choose photos that highlight my best attributes and make me look my best in every way. There are some pretty sneaky ways to hide what I don't like. And I can use props and clothing to aid in the artistic presentation of my best possible self, be that my body or my face.

This can become a problem.

For example...if I'm looking for a "date" online, all I've got to go by are your words and your pictures. Now, I understand, this is a sales pitch, so you're going to provide me your best pictures. That being said, if all you have are pictures of your dick, you're either super proud of it, or....you're hiding something....or both.

I understand not showing your face...I don't either...that has to be dealt with at some point before we meet, though - just sayin'. And even after that, I may not "feel it" in person.

As for your body? It's only fair that you represent it accurately. This isn't about being superficial. This is about attraction, and while it's possible for me to be attracted to someone I don't immediately find hot, there's going to have to be some serious chemistry. What you weigh doesn't really matter. I'm okay with a realistic body. But don't show pictures from 15 years ago and then end up being the 100-pound-heavier version when I see you in person and then wonder why I'm being so shallow. I'll do you the same courtesy.

Besides, I'm married to a guy I already find hot. I'm already having sex on a regular basis. I have an outlet, so this is purely supplemental. That means I have a lot of room to be choosy.

I actually think men are better at being honest about their appearance. Women are pretty terrible about their photos on "dating" sites. For all the unfair press guys get about their dick pics, women are almost as bad with their tits. I have them...I know what they look like already. And yours? Well, okay - they might be nice, but what else you got? Oh...your ass? Yes, I have one of those, too. I know a lot of guys love to comment on these pictures, and I post quite a few of them because of that....but....

I'll need a bit more than tits and ass and dicks to find you inspiring enough to contact.

That's where we fall back on words, which can be just as, if not more, deceiving. I'm not saying I need your life story and all your secrets up front, but at least represent yourself honestly enough that I get a picture of who you are and what you like to do in life. How am I supposed to know if we're compatible if all you say is that you're looking for like-minded people to hang out with? Duh.

What about your interests? Your hobbies? Your sexual desires? What you're seeking in a relationship?

I'm just growing so disenchanted with the whole process. I really and truly don't see the joy in working this hard simply to create more drama in my life. Because that is what it always ends up being.

Part of the problem is that it's not just me in this game. There's my husband. And the other person's significant other (if he or she has one). Trying to get 4 people on the same page...with chemistry...and calendars....? Yeah, that's hard shit right there.

Anyhow, being involved in this whole online dating business - well, it has encouraged me to fix in my own profile all the things that annoy me in others.

I'm almost 40. I've got lumps and rolls and stretch marks and cellulite. I'm moody as fuck, and I get jealous. But I like sex. And if you can get past all my shit, I'm worth it. Really.

If you can't see that...or don't want to...that's okay. I'm cool with it. But, I'm going to do my best to represent myself accurately in my profiles and writing. This is who I am...flaws and all.

The irony is... I actually met my husband online, and the photo I had posted as my profile pic wasn't my best, but it was what I had at the time (pre-selfie years, so uploading photos meant physically cropping and then scanning a picture in). I didn't have a scanner in my apartment, so I had to use a photo I already had on CD...my senior picture. At the time, I was 28...so I was using a 10 year old picture. Bad form. Yes. And here I was thinking it was a decent representation of, at least, my face. Funny thing is, my husband didn't even like the picture. But, he contacted me anyway since so few people in our age bracket were even available.

We ended up together, at the time, because we were the only people under the age of forty on the local personals site.

Oddly enough...it worked out, because our profiles themselves, and our subsequent online conversations, divulged that we were actually pretty compatible. And we were honest about who we were and what we wanted.

Online dating is tough. But for those of us in small towns, it can be one of the only ways to branch out.

I've just never really been a fan of dating anyway. So, doing it when I don't have to just adds a whole new level of "WTF?" And yes, I question myself often. Why am I doing this? Is it for Him? What am I getting out of this? Other than stress and disappointment?

Good questions, really...for another night.